Binary Vision!

It's Funny how we see things as either 0 or 1
Good or Evil
Man or Woman
Strong or Weak
We tend to define each other based on things we do or don't do, and there are very fine lines that are drawn.
Either you are a sanskaari naari or you are a westernized whore!
Either you love your country or -You are anti-national abuser
Either you are a Responsible citizen or a reckless drug user
Either you are 100% faithful or You are an untrustworthy cheater
Either you are far right or far left
totally wrong or totally right
Its a either bright as day or dark as night
We're either THE ONE
or we're zero
Its funny.
How we see things as either one or the other.
This prevents us from seeing anything at all, because binaries aren't zeros and ones, they're zeros and zeros
That is what we gain from all this.
Its funny how we're either a success or failure in the world where the highest part of success and the lowest failure are an infinity apart.
Funny how we're sane or insane
Funny how we are either normal or abnormal.
Funny how we are either "dead" or "alive".
Binary Vision,man !
Binaries are as ugly as the quantification of beauty!
But people, just hear me when I say,
I will not be your 10
I will not be you 9
I will not be your 1
I will not be your zero
I will not be your ANYTHING
I will, not be ANYTHING but nebulous, ever evolving!
And you will do well to remember that any word you pin to me
Will at best mark the co-ordinate in the space of my being
And my being is the space, where breaks down,
Much like in the mystery of the black hole.
Our boxed perceptions are the closed eyelids of this species
As it slumber while the forces of division slice its body into thin strips,easy packed and sold to the highest bidder.
I hope, we collectively figure this shit out.
Before we are confronted by the Binary
Of Existence vs Extinction.
                                                  

              

One of my favourite.

“I can believe things that are true and things that aren't true and I can believe things where nobody knows if they're true or not.

I can believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Beatles and Marilyn Monroe and Elvis and Mister Ed. Listen - I believe that people are perfectable, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkled lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our water and our women.

I believe that the future sucks and I believe that the future rocks and I believe that one day White Buffalo Woman is going to come back and kick everyone's ass. I believe that all men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and that the decline in good sex in America is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state.

I believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and I still believe that they are better than the alternative. I believe that California is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes, while Florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste.

I believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our resistance to dirt and disease so that one day we'll all be wiped out by the common cold like martians in War of the Worlds.

I believe that the greatest poets of the last century were Edith Sitwell and Don Marquis, that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a former life I was a one-armed Siberian shaman.

I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.

I believe in a personal god who cares about me and worries and oversees everything I do. I believe in an impersonal god who set the universe in motion and went off to hang with her girlfriends and doesn't even know that I'm alive. I believe in an empty and godless universe of causal chaos, background noise, and sheer blind luck.

I believe that anyone who says sex is overrated just hasn't done it properly. I believe that anyone who claims to know what's going on will lie about the little things too.

I believe in absolute honesty and sensible social lies. I believe in a woman's right to choose, a baby's right to live, that while all human life is sacred there's nothing wrong with the death penalty if you can trust the legal system implicitly, and that no one but a moron would ever trust the legal system.

I believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life is what happens when you're alive and that you might as well lie back and enjoy it.”

― Neil Gaiman, American Gods

La La Land

*SPOILER ALERT*

La La Land is not a fantasy. It’s not some dreamy tale that carries you to the stars and makes you dance in the clouds in the arms of a prince.

Oh wait. It is. Until the very end.

It’s funny. Would I have preferred to watch an ending where they both settled for ordinary careers but still lived happily ever after? The feminist in me is yelling “Go Girl! You left your dream man and got the career you always wanted! The fame, the money, all the glory and shiny lights. You got it all.” But that little romantic bubble in my veins is crying out, “But you left him behind! Is all the fame and money worth it? Did you settle for a brilliant career but a tragic love story?”

(Photo from the web)

Mia and Sebastian are two people lost in a tangled world of love, drama and the spotlight. But their love story is a harsh reminder to all of us romantics that sometimes you need to listen to the head and leave the heart behind.

I couldn’t help but imagine a Bollywood version of the story. She was leaving the club. She walked slowly, not trusting herself to look behind. And then suddenly, a hand on her shoulder. She turns around and there he is. For five glorious seconds, while violens strike up a wonderful tune, they stare into each other’s eyes. The world around them vanishes. And then she collapses into his arms and they hold each other in a tight embrace. Their lips lock in one everlasting kiss and their fate is sealed. The husband, the career, the club all melt away. The End.

And suddenly, I know that that’s not the Golden Globe winning ending. Sometimes we need to let people go for them to achieve the best they ever can. It’s not the love story we dream of but it’s a love story worth telling. Mia does a brilliant job telling us that sometimes it’s okay to let go of our Prince Charming. It’s amazing what someone can do if you just let them slip away. Let her go. Let him be. That person, that love you’re clinging onto. Just let it go. And watch the magic. Watch the transformation from good to great, from wonderful to breathtaking. And then you can look away, while he turns to watch you shine. While she opens her eyes to everything you knew she could be. And then turn to each other for one last smile, because there are no words left to say. Just… The End.

La La Land is not a fairytale.

.....

I know you've lost someone and it hurts.
You may have lost them suddenly,unexpectedly
or perhaps you began losing piecesof them until one day
there was nothing left.
you may have known them all your life or
you may have barely known them .
Eitherway, it is irrelevant, you cannot control the
depth of wound another soul inflicts upon you.

Which is why, I am not here to tell you
Tomorrow is another day
That the sun will go on shining.
or there are plenty of fishes in the sea.

What I will tell you is this,
it's ok to be hurting as much as you are.
What you are feeling in not completely VALID
but, necessary because it makes you so much
HUMAN.
and though I can't promise it will get better
anytime soon. I can tell you, that
It will, eventually.

For now, All you can do is take your time.
Take all the time you need.

Happy New year??

Think of a place with beach lights fireworks music and celebrations all around..Wonderful isn't it?

Everything was just perfect to welcome the New Year. But there was something going on in my mind constantly some random thought about which I wanted to think but was trying to keep away.

So just to calm myself from the chaos I plan to walk by the beach.

Finally just walking along I find a deserted place by the beach.

The smell and the calmness of the beach was making me want to lie down,

 I lie down,

Look up with a sky filled with stars and allow myself to go with the flow of thoughts.

I start to think about all the things that happened in last few days mainly the Christmas.

I think of him. And the smiling faces. Messed up hair. The sudden euphoria that we were able to mutually provide to each other.

In an instant the calm was replaced by a sad feeling and the confusion of to call or not call for the New Year wishes. And I finally I switch off my phone thinking of all the negatives.

I get up and sit; n look away at the ocean, thinking why everything happened. Why in such a way? Why everything is so difficult to accept?

After the silence, my thoughts were interrupted by some giggles somewhere nearby. I take a look around and notice a couple. Young. Probably on their honeymoon.

With the feeling of happiness and calmness gone I stand up and start walking further away from the couple taking my shoes off and walking along the tide.

All I wanted at that moment for the ocean to wash away the pain and sadness .

Walking on the waves I couldn’t see the couple anymore. I look ahead and see a small rock (near the hotel area along the beach) as I get closer I see there is already someone on it.

It was too dark to see the face all I could see was the outline.

I call “Hello is someone there?” I wanted to just walk away but there was something known about the voice, she responds saying “yes”, I ask “If I was disturbing her?” she says “no”, “Come sit let the ocean answer all your questions”.

There was an inexplicable force which drew me towards the rock and I finally decide to go and sit.

“What happened to you?” She asks

“What does she mean?”I think

“Well not many people come here alone at night. They’re all couples who do. What happened?” she asks

“What makes you think something happened to me? You are here too”, I said a little defensively

“And what makes you think, something has not happened to me?” She asks.

Both of us sit in silence listening to the sound of waves.” Why me? That’s my question” she says

A little surprised “I wish I knew the answer to that” I say.

She suddenly starts digging into what is wrong with me, asks me questions about him..and as hard as possible I try not to answer or respond to any of it. But, yes there always comes a breakdown point as there is in a zener diode. (just a reference) and the same happened I broke.

I started telling her everything. About what had happened and what I am thinking at the moment and how I should be at the point but was vulnerable as shit.

She tries to calm me down saying it is ok things happen and it was just another chapter and you should just get over with it eventually. She suggests me to call him I do try but then just dial and dismiss it.

She again asks me questions, and frankly speaking that felt like a brainstorming session. “Does he know what you think? Does he feel the same? What do you think of him as? Are you ok with the whole thing you happen to know about him?”

These questions just made me feel more nervous because I dint know answer to any of it.

After a long silence.

“You do know, there’s nothing as purpose?” she says

What do you mean? I ask, "We're all here. And many say we're here for a purpose. But there's nothing known as purpose." she replies

"That's not true. We all play a role in the functioning of the universe". I say. "No. We don't. We all play a role in the functioning of our own lives. We make them what we can. Nothing is supposed to happen. And nothing is meant to be" she says

I again stare at the outline in silence.

“But you already knew that, dint you?”She asks.

I was this time a little confused. I ask her, "Then why does something happen? Everything has a causal base. It's all inter-related!”

"It's all related to what you relate it to. Nothing else. Everything is very simple. Sometimes it is complicated just to scare you.” She says

I ask her to elaborate

“What is your final doing? What is the best you can do about the situation? What stops you from doing what you think? This question can be answered by answering the following question: What is the most common trait in humans? Laziness or fear?" she says. “What is yours?” Asking me..

Me?? Zoned Out!!!

“you must be thinking, what am I talking and what do I know?”I am just an outline in the dark you are talking to” she says.

“You have given me a lot to think about.may I know your name?,I ask

“Outline, as is yours” she says.

“I kind of understand you” I say.

“No, you understand yourself. But you don’t. I understand nothing. No one understands anything. Or even nothing. It’s all chaos. And some say they understand chaos." she laughs.

"What do you mean?!" I ask.

"I mean what you mean." she says "Am I me or am I you?".

"What?!!” I exclaim.

"Are you you or are you me?" she asks, much to your annoyance

"Wait, are you saying you are me?" I ask getting temporarily vexed.

You look back at the rock."Where are you?" you call out to the outline.

"Where are you?!""Where did you go!!!"

Silence.

The sea breeze touches your skin. I look up at the stars, even more unsettled than what I was before.

I again start thinking, if I was really complicating and making everything difficult for myself and us.

I convince myself saying how much ever I dig deep in this it is not going to have a solution. Sometimes going with the flow is better.

And then I sit in silence, thinking and missing him..(Having no clue if it was the same turmoil for him)

May be yes May be no.

And starting a New Year with such confusion, sadness and with such daunting thoughts, I wonder if it was actually a New Year.

I write when I am Bored.!!

30 things about Me.!

1. I laugh a lot.
2. I'm addicted to caffeine.
3. I Like to have good food which involves chicken and cheese.
4. I still do not find any other series as awesome as 'friends'.
5.I never liked osho chappals.
6.I sometimes hate my college.
7.I love my parents for all they are doing for me.
8.I hate when people complain constantly
9.It really freaks me out when someone's too sweet for no reason.
10.I love buying stationary.Even if i don't need it.
11.I do things I'm not supposed to do and regret doing them later.
12.Shopping sometimes soothes me
13. I love to accessorize as far as it is elegant.
15.I prefer eating my popcorn and chocolates alone.
16.I do not like to explain things to people more than 4 times.
17.I always enjoy my time with my close friends.
18.I am pretty much focussed.
19.I am an animal lover.
20.I cannot live without my books.
22.I don't fancy gossiping about non-important people.
23.I hate when people say "aww" after every other sentence.
24.I love white roses.
25.I don't like kids that much.
26.I miss my school days alot.
27.I cannot hear a word about the things I love and the people I love.
28.I strongly believe in destiny.
29.If you really observe number 21 is missing.
30.And last but not the least, I like the fact that I'm single and not with a wrong person.

A Conversation

Having a conversation with yourself is crazy. It's positively berserk. But, in a weird way it makes sense. Because, who you were and who you are, are two completely contrasting ideas. They're intertwined like the symbol of infinity. Because, you wouldn't be who you are, without being who you were. I'm getting dizzy because of all this. My head's spinning. I need to take an Advil. As i fumble to get up, from what seems like a chair stuck to my bottom, I'm thinking about thinking. Why we do it, why we feel the need to think. And why thinking about thinking of thoughts, is such a deep notion, along with it being a hilarious phrase. I get up. Finally, and put one foot on front of the other, only my legs aren't moving. Its like I'm in a dream. And I know I'm dreaming.

Splash.

The water's cold. As i turn the tap to Hot, I look up into the mirror and see this chubby girl with bad hair. She has a huge smile on her face, and this glint in her eyes that tells me she's happy. I think to myself, "I used to look eerily similar." Oddly my reflection isn't moving. A voice, which seems to be coming from a very close proximity, asks, "And how are you today?" This can't be happening! I'm talking to myself. Only its a version, that's few years younger, and she looks so happy. Well, not happy, so to speak, but just innocent. As if all is well in her life, and as if she's naive. But, again, maybe I'm just reading way too much into it. There are some events in your life, that completely change the very fabric of your existence. Only, most of the time you don't know it. The moment passes, and the consequences of that particular event rise to prominence as you introspect your life after it. The way little things change. The way, very few things excite you any more, or make you want to live a full life. I realized two things. One, this was one of those life changing moments for me, I could feel it. I was in the moment, I was talking to my younger self, and it was ridiculous. Two, I didn't want to tell her how my life, and eventually hers, would turn out. It was a cruel notion. And I felt bad. Because she seemed so happy, and as far as I could tell she didn't know who I was. And I didn't want to tell her. "I'm okay, I guess. You?" I smiled, because in this split second I realized not only was talking to myself, but I was literally talking to myself. She went on to tell me the events of her day, and she wouldn't stop talking. She was so playful and lovely..which I wanted her to stay forever..but nothing lasts forever ..and at some point the reality has to struck in and change everything. And so was going to happen with her....